For those of a certain age, we often find ourselves, in a humorous but often ironic sense, falling back on a certain line of thinking that can only be stated by those from earlier eras.
“Hey, best thing about being a kid in the (40’s, 50’s, 60’s, 70’s, 80’s, take your pick) is that NO one had a cell phone camera, so there’s no evidence we were (smoking pot, doing drugs, involved in petty crimes, having public carnal knowledge, again, take your pick and let your imagination wander)!”
There’s more than a smidgen of truth to the statement, and it is one that crops up in just about every conversation when the topic moves toward the scourge that is social media here in the 21st century.
Whether pictures and video willingly taken by an individual to show off, or media created by those seeking to gain an edge over someone, or content spread across the digital pages for no other reason than being tagged an “influencer” and making a profit, there is no shortage of material available that can, and often will, paint someone in a negative light.
Nothing is private. Nothing is clandestine. Nothing is personal. No matter good intent, or no intent, everything from any and every era can be spread in seconds and tear a potentially productive life into pieces. You cannot control it. You have not one shred of discernible power to stop any such release in its tracks.
Here’s the scariest thing you’ll be forced to mutter about. The statement that you may believe has no positive resolution, be it in your personal or professional life.
Social media is holding you hostage, right now, for any mistakes you might have made. All you can do is hope the hammer never falls, but when it does, you better be prepared to deal with it head-on.
At the young and impressionable count of 19 years, she went in search of stardom like so many others of her age have done for generations. She packed up from her home in Chicago, headed for the bright lights and often scurrilous promise of Hollywood fame, plunging head-first and knee deep into what she was convinced would make her a name to remember.
In her case, it was changing her name to Lana Rhoades and becoming a “star” of adult films.
The world of pornography had swallowed another innocent whole, and the money was good. Of course, at 19 years of age, no one ever thinks of future consequences. It’s only a few movies here and there, just a few sex scenes and some titillating entertainment.
What could possibly be the big deal?
Eight years later, Maple is still trying to distance herself from that time in her life, seeking to move on and be known for something else. However, that is impossible. She has no control over those porn films from the past, those that live and breathe every second of every day riding the Internet. For the rest of recorded time, so long as there are ways to play back media on the planet Earth, Lana Rhoades will still be seen and "enjoyed" by a certain gutter-dwelling facet of society for her physical attributes and her ability to portray innumerable sexual encounters.
Someone likely advised her to try legal means to have these videos removed. No doubt someone gave her the idea that a “righteous” cause such as saving her reputation would be difficult, but not impossible. I’ve seen and heard far too often people falling for that nonsense.
Of course, they were wrong. The mistakes Maple made will live on. And on. And on. Forever.
Even if there are pictures, film, video, text comments or anything else in physical form that didn’t emanate from the era of social media, it can still be found, copied, and distributed for everyone and anyone to see and hear. If someone wants to make your life miserable, to offend you, to destroy you, they have the ability to wrap you in their scheme and never let your go.
We live in an era where we are all potential media hostages. Once released, there is never a point of turning back.
So then, what do you do? What can you do?
Come to the concussion that you cannot recover or wipe out any evidence of what at the time were casual and even meaningless moments. Unless you have everything safely locked away somewhere where only you have the key, someone else could have access to what you thought was innocence, but in their else’s hands becomes a weapon.
Be prepared to take any media assault head-on. Don’t ignore it. Face it straight up and own it. What you did as a kid or adult, what could today be taken as a negative, what might impugn your character but at the time was what we might consider “no big deal”, grab it by the horns and deal with it. Accept responsibility, and move forward. Immediately.
Damn right it will likely be uncomfortable, maybe even painful. Your reputation could be in deep trouble, and so could your earning capability. The possibility exists that your personal and professional life will never be the same, and you will be forced to answer questions about such events for the rest of your life.
It is in those moments you find out who you really are, and what you can become. It is in those moments you will find a courage you perhaps never knew you had. Those are the times you will be tested, you will uncover those in your life who really count, and you have that chance to be proud of who and what you have become.
We live in an age whee we are often powerless to shape our own destiny. However, in those moments where all feels out of control, that sliver of fortitude and power we find in ourselves will change our life, and the lives of those around us.
The weak remain hostages. The strong break free. Every single time.
Rock On.
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