Now that is a headline that could be just about anything. I mean, let’s all be real. When it comes to social media, there are more ways to screw up a good reputation, lose important business, get oneself terminated and find a solid hot water boil of trouble than there are ways to say the word “politics” in our current society and receive more basting than a 30 pound Thanksgiving turkey.
Just using that word could get me in trouble with a good number of people without them even knowing the actual subject matter. And doing so on social media? I may have to then re-up my request for permanent membership in Witness Protection.
Social media is truly the bane of most existence in our current era. Where once it was designed to be about finding old friends, telling fun stories, sharing pictures of kids and animals, it has morphed into one of, if not the, most powerful communications tool in our lifetime. At the same time, however, it has also become something else.
Dangerous. Inherently, daily, with every stroke of the keyboard, potentially dangerous. To our personal reputation, our professional livelihood, and even in some cases our safety.
There’s an excellent reason why I strongly urge everyone to never, hear me again, NEVER, place pictures of your underage children on any form of social media. Once they go global and find their way into hands and hard drives of the unscrupulous, there is no telling the damage that can be wrought.
But this lesson is more personal, more intimate, and as such, maybe the most difficult one to learn in controlling not only what you do on social media, but what others may do to you thru social media.
I recently dropped a post on social media, and in my fashion, most of my posts are designed to make people think and react. As a long time talk TV and radio host, I enjoy the interaction with good questions and comments. Without shoveling the nonsense many do on social media, I try to fashion them as something worth the time in discussing, debating, and yes, even arguing to a point.
Without going into the details, it was a controversial take. Not insulting, but I knew it would stir the pot.
Damn right it did.
A close and very (business) influential friend chimed in almost immediately, and the take wasn’t soft. It could have easily been taken as a personal attack, even over the “line”, whatever and wherever that resides. So I took a moment and responded, likely with a bit of snark and seeking to get under their skin.
And then, I hesitated. The right index finger was right there, inches from the “RETURN” key, milliseconds from engaging.
I held my hand, and thought, just for a moment, about what was about to transpire.
I knew full well that because this was not a face-to-face discussion, not on the phone, not where facial expressions and passion behind words could be heard, this conversation was on the verge of taking a downturn. Social media, most often, does not allow for anything but a written text to be read and then digested. Sure, you can slap a “happy face” emoji on the message, even a desperately ancient “LOL” to try and brighten it up, but the absent, physical part of conversation and discussion could make my response “sound” insulting.
We’ve all been there.
So instead of hitting the key, I erased the message, and cancelled the response. Simple as that. Because I knew that If the conversation escalated, it could damage a friendship and potentially much more. This person is a long-time colleague in my industry, and in our current professional era, one thing you don’t want is hurt feelings anywhere down the line. They can, and often will, snap back at you when least expected. Many times you won’t even know someone has taken affront and spread their displeasure.
It truly can become akin to a cancer, spreading without your knowledge, and only when it reaches a point of having infected everything around it do you become aware of its existence. Then, it’s too late to stop a possible unfortunate result. You also never know the mood of the person on the other end of the line.
While I strongly disagreed with their response, and there was indeed a slight tinge of personal insult in it, I let it slide. I allowed them to have the final word, and believe me, that isn’t like me at all. That talk show host/news interviewer in me wants to dig in the textual spurs and have at it.
But to what end? What would it really accomplish, save for perhaps ruining a friendship and leaving a bad taste all around? It wasn’t worth it. It was just a social media exchange that could have exploded somewhere it didn’t have to go. Emotions rise, tempers flare, and the next thing you know, you’ve lost a friend and could have done irreparable harm to your personal and/or professional reputation.
That simple act of not responding, not taking the bait, is what we all need to deliver more often. What is “said” on social media can last forever, thanks to screenshots. In an instant, it lives forever and can be replicated thousands of times.
Make this a new mantra: “There is no rule that says you have to respond to anything on social media. There is no edict that demands you “defend” yourself in reaction to a comment. Not everything you have to say is important or vital to any conversation.”
Pick your battles.
We once lived in a time when actual conversation was held to discuss issues, verbalize disagreements, try to find common ground. Social media, in many forms, has replaced such communication with textual sniping and the inability to understand the emotion behind it. After all, printed words can hide so much, UNLESS OF COURSE YOU FEEL THE NEED TO DO THIS AND SCREAM AT SOMEONE.
Put down the finger. Push away from the keyboard. Save a friendship, leave no ill will behind, and save your reputation in the process.
Sometimes, saying nothing is the most effective and intelligent response of all.
Comments