We are once again faced with the dilemma of language, characterizations, sarcasm and what can be considered by some to be necessary & meaningful dialogue, or the useless and hysterical rantings of those looking for something to be offended about.
What we have here is another example of how far we have to go in communicating, and the distance we still have to travel in deciding whether something said is harmless, or shows a need to be more sensitive to others. It comes at a time when those lines are more blurred than ever, and the conversation surrounding it often becomes more of a bellowing between sides that actual conversation.
In Game 5 of the Stanley Cup Playoffs series between the Florida Panthers and Tampa Bay Lightning, two calls were made that went against the Lightning and cost them the possibility of 2 goals, which would have undoubtedly changed the course of this game. While the final score was 6-1 Panthers, it was certainly closer than that.
In his post game press conference, Tampa Bay Head Coach Jon Cooper was understandably frustrated at the calls, which looking at them on replay, could indeed have gone either way. Cooper made the following statement regarding the calls:
"Are net-front battles not allowed anymore? That's part of everybody's game. The boxing out that goes there is like prison rules in the playoffs. But it's not prison rules for the goalie? We might as well put skirts on them then, if that's how it's going to be. They have to battle through stuff too. It's a war down there. I think we're letting the goalies off the hook. And they have way more pads on than everybody else does."
It didn't take long for the uproar to begin and, of course, spread across social media.
Cooper is now being excoriated in some venues for using "sexist" language in his response. By using the comparison of putting skirts on male players, Cooper offended those who saw him demeaning women, women in sports, women in hockey, and being insensitive to what some consider "offensive" language.
Some of you might well agree that he could have been more careful with his words. Some of you might well be rolling your eyes and wondering out loud, "Really? THIS is what someone gets offended by?"
Let's not dive too deeply here, as the subject matters often leads into a myriad of avenues. Often, it turns into a verbal or textual shouting match. So let's just lay the cards on our table and stop dancing around the issue.
There's a good case to be made for the "Is this really something to be upset about?" line of thinking. Honestly, it seems rather harmless, "heat of the moment", and shouldn't offend anyone unless they're parsing the waters looking for something to be enraged about.
But on the other side of that coin, women have been pounding away for years to be taken seriously in their craft, and when it comes to hockey, despite the formation of professional leagues, women are often looked at by detractors as being "soft" and not playing up to the rough and tumble manner of the game.
I contacted a friend of mine who played as a kid, in high school, college, and a level of pro hockey for several years, and I asked her if she was offended by the comment.
"Seriously?", was her first response. "You're joking, right?" See, we know each other fairly well and she knows in most circumstance I would never pose such a question. "I think it's hysterical, and Cooper has a good point about both calls. That, and I'd give anything to see one game with all the guys in skirts. Hell, I would pay extra for that look!"
She was not insulted, as you might guess. Then again, she is only one person, and she does not represent everyone in or out of the game. So let's get back to those questions now begging to be answered.
Does this honestly mean Cooper needs to be marked for "insulting" some people? Is this a necessary "call out", or is this just another example of how overwhelmingly fragile we have become at the use of certain words at certain times?
Is this really insulting?
Is this a learning point in how we communicate, or is this a knee-jerk reaction to something that is being overblown?
I'll admit that in my athletic years, I've been guilty of using the same metaphor. Actually, there was a lot worse back in the dark ages. However, now older and more wizened, I can see why some people would be offended.
To that, others might respond, "Can't we just take a joke anymore???" Ed Berliner speaks and teaches at corporate events and as Host for numerous gatherings openly discussing the need to communicate better and, in many cases, stop arguing and start talking.
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