It has become one of the favorite parts of my speaking and teaching engagements. That moment when, and this happens on several varying topics, I announce something to the effect, “Now, let’s talk politics”. It’s as if the boat planks all came apart at the same time and the bilge rats were scurrying for whatever they could find that floats. Invariably there are those who will find that moment to excuse themselves and dash for the exits as if they were giving away free money on the other side of the doors.
Always, I have a very audible laugh and have to rope everyone back in with a, “NO, not THAT kind of politics”. A few stragglers will still head for the lure of open rest rooms, but most are now embarrassed at being caught and hustle back to their seats. After all, but this stage of the program, they’re already been confronted by much more than they bargained for and are eager for more.
So then, I deliver.
Politics.
That word alone is enough to make most people roll their eyes and sigh deeply, as if they just heard that their favorite restaurant is out of fries for the day. “I don’t care about politics,” you might say, feeling confident that your life is blissfully untouched by the squabbles of Washington, D.C., or any government for that matter.
Reality check. You’re wrong.
You, dear reader, are neck-deep in politics every single day—even if you don’t notice it. And I’m not talking about something as mundane and predictable as government politics. Let’s leave the professional clown show to its own devices.
No, I’m talking about the real politics—the ones that happen in your personal and professional life, where every decision, every interaction, is steeped in the subtle (or not-so-subtle) machinations of everyday power struggles.
Let’s dive into this delightful world of personal politics, where the stakes are high, and the consequences could mean anything from losing your dignity to missing out on that last slice of pizza. Because nothing says "political maneuvering" like trying to keep your relationships intact while surviving a corporate meeting.
1. The Office Politics Power Struggle: Game of Desks
You think you’re just going to work to do your job? Oh, bless your heart. If only it were that simple. Every time you walk into the office (or log onto Zoom, in our modern reality), you’ve entered a battlefield of alliances, secret deals, and a cutthroat competition for… the best desk near the window. Who gets the promotion? Who gets stuck covering for the guy who always calls in sick on Fridays? Who gets to control the thermostat?
Welcome to office politics, where your fate is determined not by your actual work, but by whether you can smile through your teeth at the coworker who always takes credit for your ideas. You know the one—they swoop in with the charisma of a used car salesman and suddenly everyone thinks they’re a genius. But don’t worry, there’s a solution! It’s called “networking,” which is just a fancy word for making sure the right people owe you favors. It’s like Washington D.C., except instead of lobbying for new laws, you’re trying to get Karen from HR to approve that PTO request before your vacation plans are ruined.
2. Family Politics: The Holiday Season’s Real Agenda
Ah, family. A warm, safe haven of unconditional love and support, right? Seriously? What world have you been living in? Family is where the most vicious political games are played, all under the guise of holiday cheer and group text threads. Take any Holiday dinner dinner, for example. You think it’s about good food and gratitude, but it’s actually a battleground for power, guilt trips, and passive-aggressive comments.
Who gets to host? Well, whoever can outmaneuver Aunt Linda and her annual bid for Thanksgiving domination. Then there’s the question of who brings what dish. God help you if you suggest store-bought pie to Grandma. She’ll remember that betrayal until the end of days, and suddenly you’ll find yourself at the kid’s table—even if you’re 45. And don’t get me started on seating arrangements. Do you put Cousin Tim next to Uncle Steve, knowing full well that their conversation about who has the better lawn could spark World War III?
Face it, knowing who will be there and what nonsense they bring to the event is as important as the battle between canned cranberry sauce and the homemade side.
Family politics is all about survival. Who can avoid being roped into helping clean up while still managing to come off as gracious and helpful? Who can navigate the minefield of discussing careers and life choices without having a nervous breakdown? If you think you’re not playing the game, trust me, you’re losing it.
3. The Politics of Friendship: Keeping the Group Chat Alive
You may not think about it, but even your friendships are drenched in politics. Just organizing a simple hangout with friends can turn into a strategic dance of alliances, compromises, and betrayals. “Oh, you invited her but not me?” Congratulations, you’ve just sparked a small-scale diplomatic crisis.
Let’s talk about the group chat. That innocent little hub of memes and random links is a political hotbed where one wrong response can lead to weeks of passive-aggressive tension. Don’t respond to someone’s message fast enough? Clearly, you don’t value their friendship. Respond too quickly? You’re trying too hard. And if you dare leave a group chat—well, prepare for a full-blown investigation into why you’ve suddenly exiled yourself from the friend circle.
And let’s not forget the silent competition of who organizes the best gatherings. You thought you were just throwing a casual game night, but no—this is your chance to assert dominance as the “fun friend.” If you don’t provide top-tier snacks and a killer playlist, you might as well prepare to be dethroned.
4. Romantic Politics: The Art of Not Texting First
Then there’s love, an arena where personal politics truly shines. In romantic relationships, everything is a strategic decision. Should you text first, or wait an arbitrary amount of time to seem “cool”? Who decides where to go for dinner? What’s the right balance of giving affection without looking needy?
Even in the most established relationships, you’ll find the ongoing negotiation of chores, date nights, and—most crucially—control of the TV remote. The stakes are real, people. The passive-aggressive struggle over who unloaded the dishwasher last is a microcosm of larger political games. Remember, relationships are about compromise, which is just a nice way of saying, "How can I get what I want without making it look like I’m winning?"
5. Social Media: The Politics of Posting
Last but certainly not least, we come to social media, the modern Colosseum of personal politics. Every post, every like, every Instagram story is a calculated move. Who do you tag in a group photo? Do you like your coworker’s post even though you know they’re angling for the same promotion? Social media is the arena where we all perform, crafting a narrative of our lives that makes us look just political enough to be woke, but not so political that we actually risk alienating people.
The politics of posting is all about managing perception, and that means subtly flexing your achievements while pretending you didn’t care enough to make them a big deal. It’s exhausting, but hey, you’ve got to stay relevant, right?
Conclusion: We’re All Politicians, Like It or Not
So there you have it. Whether it’s at work, in your family, or even in your love life, politics is everywhere. It’s not just something for government officials to squabble over—it’s a daily reality that we all navigate, whether we like it or not. Every decision you make, every conversation you have, is steeped in political maneuvering.
So go ahead and embrace your inner politician. Just remember: in this game, it’s all about making it look like you’re not playing.
Ed Berliner has won and lost at the game of personal and professional politics over his career, hoping that this first hand experience will save some lives along the way. He brings this insight and much more to his virtual and live personal appearances for education and discussion purposes. Get in touch and Ed will discuss what's best for your event and company education. Also check out his commentary and business/media opinions at his email newsletters. "Shakedown Street" is no-holds barred news, sports, politics and opinion about all that matters. "The Business Beagle" tracks down the most interesting business news and commentary without fear or favor. See you there!
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